‘What doesn’t kill you makes your stronger,’ sings Kelly Clarkson, voicing lyrics many people who’ve experienced trauma and adversity can no doubt relate to. The very deep pain that comes from these things cannot be denied, but in many ways she’s right. When bad things happen, we have no choice but to carry on and move forward in life. Through this momentum, it’s possible for growth to occur.
What Is Post-Traumatic Growth?
The theory of post-traumatic growth emerged in the 90s to capture and explain the positive changes experienced by people who’ve been through something traumatic.
What Does Post-Traumatic Growth Look Like?
Depending on the type of trauma experienced, post-traumatic growth can take many forms.
I’ve written before about the idea of an inner world within which we hold a perspective about ourselves, other people and the world around us. Traumatic events can influence this in a negative way, but recovery and healing from trauma can introduce new, more positive information. This change can open up new possibilities, increasing someone’s confidence and encouraging them to do things differently.
Trauma often uncovers a strength and resilience people previously didn’t know they had. Recognising this inner strength that’s allowed them to cope with adversity can feel quite empowering.
It’s very common for people to search for a sense of meaning when something terrible happens to them. This might look like pursuing a particular cause or trying to make a difference in the lives of others who’ve experienced something similar. People can sometimes find renewed vigour for life. They might have more appreciation for things they previously took for granted. For example, if somebody experienced a traumatic event that threatened their life, they may then view the world with a deeper sense of awe and gratitude. In a similar vein, they might vow to make certain changes in their life or choose to follow an alternative path. They might develop different priorities, viewing the world in a different way and therefore choosing a different future for themselves.
Distressing events can also bring people closer together, strengthening relationships with friends and family. Some people might experience spiritual changes. This can be in the context of religious beliefs, or it may relate to somebody’s interpretation of the meaning and purpose behind what they’ve been through.
Hope Without Pressure
The potential for post-traumatic growth can provide a degree of hope. Given a choice, I’m sure most people would prefer not to experience any trauma at all, but it can be reassuring to know growth can come from enduring difficult things.
However, I don’t want to give anyone the message that it’s not enough to simply heal from the trauma you’ve experienced. You do not need to become a better version of yourself or dedicate your life to healing others, starting charities and changing the world.
The pain you’ve experienced is real and I would never condone toxic positivity or push the idea that ‘every cloud has a silver lining’. Our individual response to trauma, and the ongoing impact it can have on our lives, is complex and multifaceted. It’s also important to note the concept of post-traumatic growth isn’t helpful at the very beginning of trauma therapy as it can feel too far away to grasp or focus on.
Ultimately, healing is a journey everyone takes at their own pace. Growth might be part of your healing journey, but it might not, and that’s okay.
Find Out More
If you’re struggling and would like more support to help you overcome and navigate any difficulties, please get in touch. In the meantime, you might find the following links helpful:
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