Why Do I Feel Emotionally Numb? – Dissociation and Trauma

Why Do I Feel Emotionally Numb?

Emotional numbness is a form of dissociation. Similar to zoning out, it happens unconsciously when our minds disconnect from our thoughts, actions, sense of self, and the sensory experience of the world around us. Typically, it’s an unconscious protective response to feeling difficult emotions, whether due to anxiety, stress or trauma.

What Does Dissociation Feel Like?

When you experience dissociation, it can feel like you and/or the world around you is not real. You might feel empty and disconnected from your body or emotions. Many describe feeling unable to speak or communicate.

For others, dissociation can be more of a blunt emotional response. You might experience an emotion you recognise but find yourself unable to express it. Some people notice there is an emotion but are unable to label it.

Sometimes people experience physical symptoms alongside emotional numbness. For example, you might notice pins and needles, brain fog, or a buzzing in your body in response to something stressful.

Dissociation and Trauma – What’s the Connection?   

Although it can be an emotional response outside of these things, emotional numbness is a known symptom of mental health disorders like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD. So, what’s the connection to trauma?

Trauma can impact how we manage our emotions. When we are exposed to something traumatic, especially over a prolonged period, one of the ways the body manages is by shutting down. In other words, dissociation is the brain’s way of detaching itself from a situation that is psychologically painful.

At the time, this can be a helpful coping mechanism, enabling us to get through difficult events. However, it can become a problem if we continue to move through life feeling disconnected. Some people can function within a normal range of emotion most of the time, but when difficult things happen, their familiar shutdown response kicks in.

Dissociation and Your Window of Tolerance

‘Window of tolerance’ is a psychological concept that helps us understand our capacity to cope with and manage difficult situations and the emotions that result from them.

When we are within our window of tolerance, we have the capacity to figure out healthy ways to deal with and respond to difficult emotions. Outside our window of tolerance, above and below it, there are other zones that are less optimal.

Technically, dissociation results from us being below our window tolerance where it becomes difficult to access our thoughts and feelings. In this zone, a person usually feels too little – a kind of absence of appropriate emotion. If you remain below your window of tolerance for long periods, you might feel quite depressed or dissociated.

However, dissociation is often triggered by us reaching the top of our window of tolerance. When we’re highly distressed and disturbed by something, we reach our emotional limit, taking us beyond the top of our window and tipping us into dissociation and disconnect. Read Understanding Your Window of Tolerance to learn more.  

When Does Dissociation Become a Problem?

As I mentioned above, dissociation often starts out as a relatively helpful coping mechanism. However, it can become problematic and more easily triggered over time. Suppressed or unaddressed emotions can lead to psychological difficulties. Cutting yourself off from your emotions can make it harder for you to connect with others and identify what you need to meet your emotional needs.

Most people experience some form of dissociation in everyday life. We all detach from time to time. For example, when I drive back from the school run and can’t quite remember how I got home! It can be helpful to visualise dissociation on a scale. At one end, you’ll find these mild moments of dissociation. At the other, you’ve got diagnosable dissociative conditions that are often a serious mental health issue.

Get the Help You Need

If you’re struggling with dissociation as a result of trauma and you’d like an expert to help you heal and recover, please get in touch. Alternatively, subscribe to The Trauma Toolbox to receive my insights and tips straight to your inbox every month. I also share lots of mental health education via Instagram.